Santa plowed right into Squirt’s foosball table last night.
All last week the foosball table was an integral part of the Anti-Bulldog Christmas Tree Protection System created by Squirt and Tiger—a protection system which not only proved useless, but which provided much amusement to the bulldog.
Yesterday morning I told the boys the battle had been lost the day we brought Mojo home, so we might as well put the furniture back. I also asked Squirt to move his foosball table elsewhere because really, it was just too much to have a foosball table in the living room with a Christmas tree, too.
So Squirt relocated the foosball table to the entrance to the bathroom door. Why he chose this location, I have no idea. Probably it has something to do with how much 14-year-olds love obstacle courses—just look at Squirt’s room and you’ll see what I mean.
Anyway, Santa apparently needed to use the facilities and in so doing busted his shins in a most spectacular way. In fact, if anybody had the right to explode on Christmas Eve, it would be Santa, but no, he held it all in like a champ. He just moaned in an aggrieved sort of way, and then moved on to do his business.
What a trooper, that Santa. Mrs. Claus is one lucky woman—I expect she’ll help him ice it this morning.
Here are my two favorite gift tags this Christmas:
To Tiger
From Squirt
Happy holidays, butthead
…and…
To Mothar [Squirt’s nickname for his mother, based on a Mike Meyers sketch]
From: Zombie Beheadding Master # 1, Squirt (you must be so proud!)
My favorite “just like his dad” moment went like this:
TIGER: What’s this strap for? I can’t figure it out.
BONNIE: What does the manual say?
TIGER: (disgusted) I don’t read manuals! Hmmm, I bet it goes this way.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to help a certain someone with an iceway ackpay.*
Oh, Bonnie…that was priceless. The only part of Christmas that I miss is having young kids around. Yea, right….That noise you just heard was me banging my head on the keyboard, to regain my brain!
I get the same type of stories from the children at church…They’re so much fun, and then they go home (Not to my home..is the operative word!)
Merry CHRISTmas
Dave and I are laughing heartily right now. Thank you! After the Christmas we had, we need it. I will be blogging about it later but suffice it to say, Christmas dinner at Denny’s won’t happen again.
LOL B – I can so relate!
After reading your posts, I decided that I, too, needed cool code words for my two sons. So, after much deliberation, I’ve settles on Thing One and Thing Two. Devious little destructive machines, they are. By the way, I’m Dave, Mimi’s husband. Got a blog so I could get some computer time, too.
Hi, Dave, you’ve got a funny woman there in Mimi. Good luck on your blog!
My only advice: choose your code words carefully. You’d be surprised at the keyword analysis I get for “squirt.”