On pink bras and robbing banks

There has been a little gender confusion in the San Diego crime scene lately.

HILLCREST Police are looking for a man dressed as a woman French manicured nails and a pink bra who held up a bank yesterday.

The robbery was reported at 1 p.m. at a Union Bank on Fifth Avenue near University Avenue, said San Diego police Sgt. Rodney Vandiver.

The robber handed a teller a note demanding cash, then left with an undisclosed amount of money.

Witnesses described the robber as Hispanic. He is 6 foot tall, weighs about 200 pounds and has short brown spiky hair. He was wearing dark pants and a white shirt.

It was at least the third time this year that a man dressed as a woman has robbed a bank in the general vicinity.

Police reported similar robberies Oct. 19 of a Union Bank on Fifth Avenue in Core-Columbia and July 25 of a Washington Mutual bank about five blocks away.

— Mark Arner, “Man dressed as woman robs bank,” San Diego Union-Tribune, Nov. 15, 2005.

How did witnesses know this guy wore a pink bra? Did they see a pink strap peeking out from the neck of his shirt?

Maybe the robber’s shirt was one of those thin polyester tees and people could see right through to his bra — I hate it when this happens to me. It’s hard enough to color coordinate my clothes without worrying about color coordinating my underwear, too.

At any rate, this sounds like it was a very entertaining bank robbery! If I were ever a crime witness, it’d be my luck to witness a boring bank robbery, where the bank robbers only put nylon stockings over their heads. How much more interesting to have a six-foot, 200-pound man flashing a pink bra and manicured nails at us witnesses!

And how do the police know it was a man, exactly? What if it was really a woman? A woman did rob another bank about 2 hours later:

CHULA VISTA A woman wearing hospital scrubs used a demand note to rob a Washington Mutual Bank branch on Telegraph Canyon Road yesterday afternoon, police said.

The woman wore large dark sunglasses and a blond wig when she entered the bank at the Vons shopping center near Interstate 805 shortly after 3 p.m., said Chula Vista police Lt. Gary Ficacci.

No weapon was seen, Ficacci said.

— Brian Hazle, “Woman in hospital scrubs hits bank,” San Diego Union-Tribune, Nov. 15, 2005.

I think these two robbers are the same people! Look at the facts: neither robber is reported to have used weapons, and the second robber wore a wig, which could be covering the “short brown spiky hair” of the first robber. If the second robber was a really tall and hefty Hispanic lady with a French manicure, it’s a sure bet she is the “male” robber in the first report!

Think about it: after her 1 pm bank robbery in Hillcrest, she realizes her scrubs always camouflage her pink bra better than her white shirt, so she goes home to change and stash her loot. She’d have plenty of time to make her 3 pm Chula Vista robbery, even with the afternoon traffic.

I swear, I should have been a cop.

, , , , ,

3 Replies to “On pink bras and robbing banks”

  1. Bwah. I’m picturing a butt-ugly guy in a threadbare white T-shirt, with his pink man-ziere/Bro (like on Seinfeld) showing through.

    They just captured one of our local bankrobbers, a woman so bloody obsessed with her cell phone, she yapped the whole time she robbed banks.

    Cell phone coversations are always so inane, even when robbing a bank:

    “Hi. What are you doing? Shopping? Uh-huh. Me? I’m at the bank, withdrawing some money.”

  2. What an incredibly smart crook! Get people to stare at his pink underwear rather than his face. You can practically hear the police interview of the bank teller–“Could you describe what he looked like, please?” “Yeah, he had on a pink bra and I think he was Hispanic.” “Okay, could you describe his face? Did you notice any scars or tattoos or perhaps acne or other things like that?” “No, officer, I only recall that he was wearing a pink bra. Oh, wait! I think it was a push-up bra, if that helps!”

    See? You get the victims to see what you want them to see…one smart robber, if you ask me!

Leave a Reply