My First Successful April Fool’s Prank, and I feel so guilty

For the first time in my life, I successfully pulled off an April Fool’s prank. I’ve never done that before. NEVER. And honestly, I figured the web would be awash in April Fool’s Awareness. How was I to know you’d all take me so seriously?

So just in case readers think “Super Sabado: Prime Minister Sloo’f takes on King Lirpa” was nothing but the facts, ma’am, here’s a point-by-point retraction:

1. I stole the title from Miss Snark. Sloo’f + Lirpa (backwards) = April Fool’s! Get it?
2. I am NOT shutting down Ballpoint Wren to go into political punditry and I do NOT think I could do a better job than Jon Stewart or George Will.
3. I’d NEVER brag about stuff like “my stunning good looks.” That’s not me at all. I am modest and unassuming, I am, and working hard to diminish the size of my bottom.
4. Kait of Kait’s Chaos did NOT post a “Fun Friday” pick of Alan Greenspan.
5. Miss Snark, the Literary Agent is NOT really Rupert Murdoch (and Kait isn’t planning on posting any “Fun Friday” picks of Rupert Murdoch, either).
6. Pat Kirby of Ramblings from the Desert did NOT go all gooey over the nonexistent book Chicken Soup for the Hispanic Soul. That people could think this true of you, Pat, pains me greatly. Heh!
7. Bernita Harris of An Innocent A-Blog was NOT inspired by the book Mommie Dearest or the Museum of Coat Hangers (as far as I know, anyway.)
8. April of Desperate Writer is NOT really Kyle Smith, author of Love Monkey, and Nick Hornsby is NOT really Helen Fielding.
9. Miklb of Miklb’s Mindless Ramblings is NOT in love with Ann Coulter, and he’s probably gonna beat me with his wire whisk when he reads that I said he was. I was kidding, Miklb! Put the whisk down.
10. MacManX (AKA James Huff) did NOT think differently enough to purchase a Dell computer. See, he’s a dyed-in-the-wool Mac guy, through and through. Sorry, James!
11. Craig Hartel of Nuclear Moose Candy is NOT moving to Los Angeles.
12. Michelle of Justitia did NOT tell off a judge and is NOT in an Aussie hoosgow lamenting the lack of mud cake. Heh!
13. Bonnie Calhoun of Bonnie Writes is not leading church groups in Goth outfits; neither does she have multiple piercings.
14. Denise Belinda McDonald of Dennie’s Thoughts does NOT have a navel ring that goes very nicely with her tattoo. Or at least, I thought she didn’t.
15. Susan of The Church of Angst does not have a Goth bulldog.
16. Django Cat does NOT secretly lust after Goth Bulldogs.
17. Elizabeth of plein air sketches does NOT believe that the “the family that pierces together, stays together.”
18. Mark McLellan of Gullible’s Travels IS happily married and has NOT received a restraining order, and did NOT say “Bugger!” He just has a funny pic of Mary’s hand on his cell phone. “Talk to the hand!” Get it?
19. Sigh.
20. Teri Gray Franta, of Here’s to Happy Women was not PO’d, she probably never in her life used the term “PO’d,” and I only made her sound ticked off because, see her blog title includes the term, “Happy Women.” Ahem.
21. And apparently NOBODY watched the really special newscast entitled “April Fools Morning News” and which, IF ANYBODY HAD WATCHED IT, they would’ve been clued in to the date. They would’ve laughed, too, because it’s funny. Those kids are ready for SNL.

Thanks to Michael Parekh on IT for the April Fool’s links.