SQUIRT: Flarking is one of the funnest decks. Scott put together a deck which made flarking even more deadly. It was like, Super Flark.
TIGER: Yeah, well, want to hear what else I’ve done? Say I’m out of everything, except this. (holds up a card) And oh, no! You’ve got an even bigger guy out! So now… I play AURA THIEF!
SQUIRT: Aura Thief! ATTACK! What are you going to do, hunh? Hunh? Block it? Ha!
TIGER: And I got Leaf Play, too… the most awesome card I’ve ever seen. It boomerangs!
I have no idea what they’re talking about. All I know is Tiger ordered a bunch of Magic: the Gathering cards that arrived this afternoon. And now he and Squirt are acting like Christmas came for the second time in two weeks.
TIGER: Just wait until I play Jeff! He has Platinum Angel—a four-point flyer!
ME: And that means—? Speak English, boy.
TIGER: It means your opponents can’t win the game, and you can’t lose the game. But this card… this card! It allows me to look through Jeff’s deck, and grab it. And take it. And laugh at him. It’s a requirement.
SQUIRT: This is a strategy game, Mom.
The Wizards of the Coast have a good strategy game all right, something those dudes on Wall Street would call an excellent business model: keep manufacturing cards with a little more oompf in them than previous editions.
And I don’t know about you, but to me, “strategy games” mean chess, or poker, or even Risk; a game in which somebody out-maneuvers somebody else with the resources he’s been given, not with the resources he bought with his Christmas money.
SQUIRT: I’m going to have to buy some squirrel cards, so I can kill you with squirrels.
TIGER: So you’ll beat me with squirrels? Ha! I’ll take your squirrels and laugh in your face.
SQUIRT: Basically it’ll be a bunch of squirrels running around, nibbling your opponents to death.
TIGER: That’s a slap in the face, getting beat down by squirrels. Heh!
HUBBY: You guys are nuts.
Hubby can schmooze with the best of them, even if he doesn’t speak the lingo. But he’s a man who sets stock by his mutual funds, not by little cards averaging about 75 cents a pop. And from the way he’s wrinkling his nose, I can see he doesn’t buy the strategy bit, either.
HUBBY: You’re both trying to make it sound like it makes sense, but it doesn’t.
SQUIRT: (patiently) Dad, when you think about it, “indestructible,” that was a stupid thing! But—hey, Tiger, how come you doubted the Squirrel deck?
TIGER: Heh! Jared got trampled by a squirrel! Four/fours, I think. Yours would be zero/ones, or one/one. Heh!
HUBBY: Oh, yeah? I’d be like a ten/ten.
SQUIRT: HA! Ten/tens! Dad! They’re big beefies! Giant leviathans that level cities!
HUBBY: That’s me, all right.
SQUIRT: Ha, little do you know. Instead of having a big beefy as a rare, I’d rather have little weenies.
HUBBY: So instead of a big beefy, you’d rather have a little weenie?
TIGER: Busted!
SQUIRT: Like you don’t have little weenies in your deck! You guys suck! And Mom? You can stop writing right now.
Do you feel like your living on another planet?
When you have kids, you really must be prepared for that language re shuffle! I listen to my daughter and her friends have similar conversations, when they finish they turn to me and ask what i think, i stare at them with a blank expression…………….i’m made to feel like the kid!
LOL! – we have Yu-Gi-Oh cards as well as Zatch Bell and Pokemon (and a couple more I have no clue of) at my house – I feel your confusion!
It makes me miss my Magic Deck and stomping my Dawg into the ground with my pathetic but deadly creatures.
No more Magic cards but now I’m listening to Boy expound on the wonders of .hack. See the glossing over as I don’t grasp it.
That’s okay though, I’ll get Boy back with a zinger he’s not expecting on the wonders of….better get another cup of coffee and ponder that thought. 😉
This sounds a lot like a Saturday morning cartoon I watch in which everyone goes to Egypt and plays a sort of dungeons and dragons card game BUT FOR REAL! They appear to make up the rules as they go along, because as soon as one player pulls out a card and reveals a monster/strategy, the other goes, “huh?” Oh, wait. I think this is a Japanese creation where they are always required to respond with a noise. Huh?
Well…I kinda like Magic the Gathering, although I’m still too visual to do much with cards. Computer/X-Box games are more my thing. There you kill more things, get experience points and swag and trade it in for beefier weapons and such. No need to buy more cards.
Of course, the !@#@! technology changes every six months and new hardware must be purchased. Ugh.
Boys are cool. Girls, the girly ones, anyway, baffle me. “You wanna play what? House? Tea party? Why?”
I haven’t seen any of the MTG cards since 1996, when I got out of the business and went back to being a seamstress. I was in the trading card game when Magic came out.
I made a fortune selling the first thru third Edition cards. When I got out of the business, I sold my original playing deck (that I had kept in sleeves, so they were in mint condition) for $1100.00 That’s right…eleven hundred dollars!
I only played that once when I was bored stiff in Croatia because I couldn’t go off post. I agree, I’d rather play chess than play with little weenies.
You guys are all WAY more culturally aware than I am. Way.
Out of 7 people, 4 (Mimi, Bonnie C., Pat and Kait) actually PLAYED this game at least once!
1 person (Bonnie C.) even SOLD the game and made a PROFIT on it.
2 added new titles I’d never even heard of (Kait with .hack and Dennie with Zatch Bell).
2 are as somewhat confused as I am (Dennie and Michelle).
And Georganna gets extra credit points for watching Saturday morning cartoons. Huh!