Big ole’ butts need big ole’ needles

Scientists discovered hypodermic needles are too short for today’s world of super-sized bottoms, and headline writers all over the world rejoiced!

The Daily Mail:Jabs don’t work on fat-bottomed girls

The Sun:Docs stumped by rumps

The Mirror: BUM JABS FOR FATTIES

Australia: “Obesity a bummer for GPs’ needles

South Africa: “Doctors make no butts about needle issue

Canada: “FATTER BUTTS NEED LONGER NEEDLES

Boston: “Docs: Needles have fat chance against big butts

Tennessee: “Bountiful booties, short needles lead to ineffective meds

ABC News: “Obese Buttocks Leave Drug Therapy Behind

Scripps Media: “Fat heinies causing problems for doctors

My personal favorite:

Baby got back? Junk in the trunk? A J.Lo butt?

She may be bootylicious, but it’s bad for her health.

HamptonRoads.com, Virginia: “If your baby got back, she may be missing the point,” Nov. 29, 2005.