“Kiwi!” by Dony Permedi (sniff!)

Rather than a game, today I’m going to present Dony Permedi‘s master’s thesis in animation from the School of Visual Arts in New York.

You should know that “Kiwi!” got me into trouble with my sister, who was a little upset because I didn’t warn her about the end. The end made me a little emotional, too, so I guess I should add this disclaimer:

If you’re at that time in your cycle when you cry at banking commercials, please do not watch “Kiwi!”

The rest of you go ahead and then tell me: is the ending happy? Or sad? Discuss!

Here’s the link for the feedreaders. Sorry, guys! Sometimes I forget all about you!

Spiderman City Raid

The Good News/Bad News in my world:

  • Bad News: my afternoon internet connection at the pool bleachers disappeared. Got to find a replacement connection for that 4.5-hour wait.
  • Good News: the morning swim practice (1-hour wait) has an internet connection! Hoo yeah.
  • Bad News: spammers figured out how to get past the three biggest WordPress spam plugins, so I spend a bunch of time deleting spammy comments and blacklisting their spammy IPs.
  • Good News: the excuse, “I’ve been denying IPs all day” sounds very authoritative when explaining why there are no clean socks in the house. (That and, “How come you can deactivate Delta Halo but you can’t figure out the washing machine?”)

Screenshot of beginning of game

Moving on!

Screenshot of loosey-goosey Spiderman
This is one of those flash games featuring boneless characters that flip and swoop through the atmosphere while you make them do stuff. In this case, Peter Parker looks as if had one too many Mojitos before he donned the spidey suit.

It seems to me as if the game strategy for playing is to have one too many Mojitos yourself, BEFORE pressing “Start.”

(If Mojitos are unavailable or you have to operate heavy machinery, go with chocolate, instead.)

Link for feed readers: Spiderman City Raid Game.

Halloween Hangman

Screenshot of Halloween Hangman Game

I want to thank Erika of Mom of Two for passing this one to me.

You’ll need the sound turned up while you play, because the charm of the game lies in the skeleton’s line of patter. (Hey, Bernita! PATTER. How’s that for some good vocab?)Screenshot of 'You Lose!' with skeleton hung

In fact, he kind of reminds me of Bruce Campbell. I do know some people who find that gentleman annoying, so if that includes you, you can always lose on purpose.

But I love the guy—so I always do my best to save his doppelgãnger skeleton! (Ooh, Bernita! Doppelgãnger!)

P.S.
Honorable Mention for Halloween Procrastination Submissions goes to the woman with Squirt’s sick sense of humor… Laurel Wreath, with the Flaming Bag of Poo game!

Virtual trick-or-treating

Picture of trick-or-treater meeting scary jack-o-lantern

Ooh, this is so much fun! And so timely, too. Excuse me while I pat myself on the back for providing a holiday-themed game more than a WEEK before the holiday, rather than the DAY before.

There are sound effects and music that start automatically, so I put the actual game after the “Read the rest…” link.

Those of you at work or trying to hide what you’re doing from the spouse or kids (naughty!) turn the sound down BEFORE you click it. You’ve been warned!

Continue reading “Virtual trick-or-treating”

Archimedes wouldn’t have gotten any laundry done with these Levers, either *UPDATED LINK*

He wouldn’t have moved any worlds, that’s for sure—I doubt if he’d even been able to finish his bath, what with all the time-wasting fun he’d have with the fiendish procrastination device Portnoy sent me, called “Levers.”

Screenshot of Levers game

Things drop into your bit of ocean (don’t panic—they won’t sink out of reach) and you’ve got to pick them up and arrange them on your hanger.

As more hangers and items fall from the sky you’ll have to do some rearranging in order to keep everything properly balanced. But there’s no need to feel silly whilst arranging bowling balls and snowmen on this virtual mobile. Levers has been given a thumbs-up by at least one deep thinker, so I figure we’re doing something educational.

There is an end this game… see if you can make it to the applause at the end.

Thanks, Portnoy!

It’s A-Maze-ing, all right

Today’s little nugget of procrastination joy is brought to you by my little bloggy friend back east, Bonnie Calhoun.

My boys pronounced this game “sick” and “Dude!” — terms which apparently meant they liked it a lot, but I didn’t know for sure until I saw that they plastered the game’s URL all over Myspace.com.

So there you go: a cross-generational time-waster.

Screen shot of

This A-Maze-ing game is deceptively simple: you move your cursor along the bunny path until you find your way out of the maze.

I think it’s easier with a mouse instead of a laptop trackpad, so some of you may have an advantage over poor little me. Don’t let the bunnies try to distract you.

They are evil, those bunnies…

Dicewars

A lot happening today, so I’ll be quick! (Is it possible to procrastinate quickly? Do any of us want to?)

Screenshot of Dicewars game

Dicewars will once and for all expose to everyone how easily I am confounded by strategy games.

At least, I think this is a strategy game.

It is, isn’t it?Screenshot of Dicewars game

You start out with a map that’s divided into territories: yours and those of your opponent. For some reason your opponent ALWAYS gets to go first, which I don’t think is fair, but then what do I know? Apparently being good at strategy games means you get to CHEAT.

Screenshot of Dicewars gameAnyway.

When your opponent is finally through with eating up most of your territory, you get to go, and the best I can figure out is that somehow your opponent tossed all your big number dice way in the back, where you can’t reach them and are stuck fighting this onslaught with such a pitiful number that even Napoleon would weep.

Outgunned, that’s what I was.

Still, it’s kind of addictive, in a masochistic sort of way.

Screenshot of Dicewars game

Arrr! It be the Scribbler, ya landlubbers!

Scribbler picture from the Gallery
Me mom be a real artist. Unfortunately, she shared none o’ th’ artistic aptitude when passin’ ou’ th’ family genes.

But who needs creative talent when ye`ve got somethin’ like th’ Scribbler?

Arrr, so ’tis more o’ a modern art generator, but ’tis still pretty cool an’ lots o’ fun t’ play wi’. I wasted a good hour durin’ swim practice on this wee time sink.

My stick figure: a bunch of circlesFirst, ye draw a wee stick figure that be th’ foundation fer yer scribble. (After playin’ wi’ ‘t a couple o’ times, I reckoned I be probably better off drawin’ geometric images.)

Then ye press th’ “START SCRIBBLER” button an’ watch what happens, startin’ an’ pausin’ th’ Scribbler in order t’ adjust th’ settings t’ yer likin’.

Ye can control th’ width o’ th’ scribble lines, th’ color, th’ transparency an’ e’en th’ amount o’ “scribbliness.”

Finished Scribbler picture

Dasn’t like what ye be seein’? Hit “CLEAR SCRIBBLE.” But dasn’t hit th’ “START OVER” button unless ye want t’ redraw yer base design.

Take a eyeball th’ Scribbler Gallery fer more ideas.

Scribbler picture from the Gallery

An’ if ye want t’ learn how t’ talk like a buccanneer, go here, ya lily livered scurvy cur!

(And thanks t’ th’ scalawag TC fer remindin’ me!)

Finger Frenzy, my IBM Selectric-loving patootie!

Screenshot of Finger Frenzy home pageOoh, this is cool. “Finger Frenzy: How fast can you type the alphabet?”

Pretty darn fast, if I do say so myself.

Why, in my prime, I was the queen of the secretarial pool at 110 wpm. So let me give this sucker a try.

Heh! All you so-called geek types think you’re fast? I cut my typing teeth on a Smith-Corona manual. Observe how I blow you out of the water!

7.2026049

Hmmm. Maybe I could do a little better, after all, that was my first time.

7.2026049

Not bad, not bad. Still… breathe deep… relax the fingers… and GO!

5.7596989

That’s what I’m talking ABOUT!

Now I think I’ll just file my high scores where all the baby geeks may read them and weep!

Wha—? Wait a minute! The top 15 scores are…

High scores are as low as 1.000! No way!

Move over, you baby geeks. Make room for the old lady about to pass out over your keyboards.

Via Digg

Battleships General Quarters Game

Screenshot of Battleships Game
SO MUCH FUN.

No pieces to set up or put away, no lost little depth charges that disappear—until the vacuum cleaner sucks them up, anyway—and you never have to worry about your opponent peeking at your layout and then saying it was just your imagination when you tell him to stop, either.

First, you arrange your ships the way you want them. I prefer to use home design principles that emphasize the proper flow in a living space, but that’s just me. Feng shui might be applicable here, as well.

Screenshot of Battleships Game

Then you and your opponent start dropping depth charges. Dark blue squares mean you’ve checked that area already. Orange squares represent hits. And your hunky first officer pops in every now and then to give you helpful updates, like, “Allright!” “Okay!” and “Our frigate has been sunk!”

Screenshot of Battleships Game

Battleships General Quarters Game.

UPDATE 11/12/2006: I’ve updated the links to direct to the official website, which should always have an updated version of the game. Thanks, James “MacManX” Huff!