Punk-O-Matic: when easy listening just won’t do

Screenshot of Punk-O-Matic Music Maker

I don’t know about you guys, but I figure I lost a whole week to Bubble Shooter. That one is right up there with the Flapjack Game in my book.

So today I want something a little more creative, a little less obsessive, something that reflects my current mood, yet will let me go without putting me through some major withdrawal.

Screenshot of Punk-O-Matic character, grimacing!And what I like about this little music maker is that the noise TOTALLY matches my present emotional state. Especially if you use lots and lots of numbers.

Take a look at this guy. That’s me. One week of Bubble Shooter produces one week of facial grimaces just like this.

Ma’am, step away from the Bubble Shooter

screenshot of Bubble Shooter game

One of the joys of my old Palm Pilot was the free games and ebooks on it, great for whiling away the time in line at the post office and grocery store.

Then I discovered Railroad Solitaire. Before I knew it, that’s all I did all day: play Railroad Solitaire. ALL DAY.

At one point I even started taking it to bed with me. Hubby would ask me what the hell I was doing with my Palm Pilot and I’d lie and say, “I’m organizing!” or “I’m making up my shopping list!” or “I’m reading Jane Eyre!”

I am such a LIAR.

My high scoresAnd now, I shall have to lie again once more, because I have been shooting bubbles. ALL DAY.

Holy cow, this game is like crack. And if there was any way I could take this laptop with me to the post office or the grocery store or into bed without Hubby noticing, I’d do it.

And the only reason there’s an Anonimus score on this chart is because I was in such a frenzy to play the game again that I pushed the wrong button.

Winterbells—WOO HOO!

Screenshot of Winterbells game

Holy cow, the music! It just doesn’t stop—it keeps on playing, and playing, and PLAYING and the snow keeps falling, and my cute little bunny keeps trying to touch the winterbells and when he does he FLIES and FLIES and WOO HOO but the worst of it all is now I can’t stop humming the Winterbells tune.

I actually got up to 21,380 points! Of course, I know this record will be beaten by one of you in a matter of minutes BUT STILL!

Screenshot of Winterbells game

Via Kottke

Map Challenge: I’ll take “Geography” for $200, please

Opened my mail this morning and yowza! Lots and lots of stuff to go through. I’ll be responding soon to those of you who’ve contacted me or commented recently. In the meantime…

Screenshot of Map Challenge Game

Nothing like one of those little puzzles to make you feel smarter (or dumber) than the average bear. Try this Map Challenge and see how well you can put together a map of the United States WITHOUT the handy little outlines.

It gets easier as you get through the puzzle, but if you’re having trouble with Alaska or Hawaii, there’s no hope for you at all.

You’re being timed, so don’t run off to look up Arkansas (cheater!) because it will lower your score. My score would’ve been much higher if I hadn’t stopped to pour another cup of coffee. Really. It’s true.

Screenshot of my score: 86%

Via Kottke

Is it art? Or is it crap?

A little discussion I had recently got me thinking very seriously about what constitutes art and what doesn’t. And “very seriously” means I thought about it whilst scarfing down the 82% dark chocolate bar I ate to keep me from eating the whole plate of my neighbor Linda’s Christmas cookies.

Marcel Duchamp's Fountain: a urinal!But back to the topic at hand: Art.

I don’t think of this as art, yet clearly it is considered Art with a capital A by Art Experts—who, when you think about it, must do a lot of soul-searching whenever they have to use the rest room.

By the way, I realize I’ve just outed myself as one of the unwashed, chocolate-swilling masses who can’t tell a urinal from a pivotal piece in art history, but as long as there is chocolate in my pantry, who cares?

Anyway. According to this quiz, I may not get confused in the rest room, but I’m not a total loss at art appreciation, either.

Screenshot of the Art or Crap quiz results

Snowcraft: take that, you snort boys

screenshot of Snow Fight game

I want to thank Lesia of Biography of a Southern Writer for finding this game and and sending me the link, thereby saving me lots and lots of time, which I hope to use to get the rest of my Christmas cards out before Valentine’s Day. Yay, Lesia!

I did do a little homework about it, though (just so you know I’m not a total procrastination loser) and learned that this game first saw the light of day in 1998, when IconNicholson sent it out as their company Christmas card.

Okay, so let’s get down to some serious snow fighting business!

At first I kept getting slaughtered by the little guys in green, who like to snort-laugh after they whup your hiney. Then I discovered that if you throw the snowballs while you are moving, somehow it packs a bigger punch.

Yeah, well, that’s the theory, anyway. Unless I’m constantly on my guard I usually end up like this:

Getting my Glider on

screenshot of Glider game

I am late, yes I know I am, but I have a good excuse.

HUBBY: So. You’re not one of those women who’ll grope a patient when he’s unconscious, are you?

NURSE: Nope.

HUBBY: Damn. Who else is working today?

And my excuse is… Hubby had surgery today. Relatively minor stuff: to repair a torn meniscus.

And exactly how did he tear his meniscus, you ask?

He tore it during a basketball game that pit a bunch of 30-year-olds against a bunch of foolhardy 40-year-olds.

You’d think the 40-year-olds would’ve gotten slammed, but they won, and Hubby gave his meniscus to the effort.

I would love to tell you what A STUPID IDEA THIS WAS, but hey! I got to be supportive of my man. EVEN WHEN HE DOES STUPID THINGS.

HUBBY: So, Doc, will I be able to run marathons after this heals?


HUBBY: That’s great, because I can’t run them now. This surgery is really gonna improve my life!

So, I’ve excused myself… and here is our procrastination goody for today: a flash version of one of my favorite old Mac games: Glider.

If you ever played Glider, you know it had a catchy little tune and lots of fun sound effects, and basically consisted of trying to navigate your little paper airplane past air vents and over lighted candles and etc. When I saw it in a flash version, I couldn’t resist.

screenshot of Glider game

Via Digg

Impress your friends! Make your own snowflake!

Bonnie's snowflake
Do you remember last year’s holiday ode to procrastination?

Sadly, the Snow Gallery has closed. But I found something almost as much fun: make your own snowflake!

It took me a while to get the hang of the scissors, but it’s a lot of fun once you do. You can save your snowflake, download it, or just link to it.

Bonnie's snowflake

Ignore the above snowflake maker! Judy has pointed out a MUCH BETTER snowflake maker, because each snowflake you make increases Popular Front‘s donation to the Salvation Army, one of my favorite charities.

This way you can procrastinate for a good cause! It sure doesn’t get any better than that.

And now, back to this regularly scheduled post!

And no matter how much you cut up your flake, IT STILL WORKS—unlike my always-botched childhood snowflakes. I never could get any of them to look halfway decent. If only my second-grade teacher could see me now!

What do your snowflakes look like?

Via Digg

We’ve got your good and bad news right here, next to that dang monkey

The good news is: Tiger passed his driver’s test and now has a California driver’s license!

The bad news is: Tiger passed his driver’s test and now has a California driver’s license! Just thought I’d warn all you southern California drivers out there. THE STATE LET HIM LOOSE.

Definitely time to adjust our insurance plan.

“Okay,” the insurance gal told me, “that’ll be an additional $208.”

“Whew!” I said. “That’s not so bad! What’s this I hear about teenage boys causing your rates to go sky high?”

“$208,” the insurance gal continued, “is a pro-rated rate, because you’ve only got a month left on your billing cycle.”

$208 x 12 months = yowza.

And because I am recovering from car insurance sticker shock, I let somebody else do the game-finding for me, and boy, did she do a great job! A little TOO good, if you catch my drift.

Birchsprite, you little minx, what little time I had available this week, you TOOK IT FROM ME. Holy cow. A high score of 4216?

I’ll have you know that my personal best is—um… (cough) 400.

screenshot of Monkey Challenge game

Turkey to Go! Thanksgiving Flash Game

'Turkey to Go!' game

This game is for you hardy souls who have an itch to procrastinate today—even though you KNOW your visiting relatives are going to go home with tales about how your rabid dust bunnies almost made off with Aunt Agatha’s dear little Fifi.

fork attack on turkey!It’s a pretty easy game: you collect feathers and gobble corn whilst avoiding the fork. But the fork seems to come out of nowhere, so be careful.

Don’t let what happened to my turkey happen to yours!

And as a holiday extra, I can’t resist this Youtube clip of Adam Sandler’s “Turkey Song” as sung on SNL way back when.