Tiger’s Driving Lesson

What I Said:

Hmmm, I’d say you need to practice backing-up a little more.

What I Thought:

Oooh, now THAT was a little scary.


What I Said:

Whew! That’s why we always slow down on blind curves. Don’t want to mow somebody down because we didn’t see them in time.

What I Thought:

Omigod! We almost hit that elderly pedestrian and his dog! He clutched his heart—I hope he’s okay! Wait a minute… where’s his dog? We DID miss the dog, didn’t we?


What I Said:

That was a bit of a rough stop, Tiger. Don’t worry… you’ll get better with practice.

What I Thought:

Will I ever get my teeth marks out of the dash?


What I Said:

Oh, my! Well, next time just remember: “SMOG.” Signal, mirror, over-the-shoulder, go.

What I Thought:

We almost pulled right into that bus! Oweee—is this what a stroke feels like? Yes, God, take me now! Don’t wanna die in a fiery crash!


What I Said:

Slow down a little, gently, gently.

What I Thought:

SLOW DOWN SLOW DOWN SLOW DOWN FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY SLOW DOWN!


What I Said:

Pull to the left, please. Quickly.

What I Thought:

We’re going to hit that parked car! MOVE OVER MOVE OVER MOVE OVER MOVE OVER OH LORD WE’RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!


What I Said:

Uh, do you see that oncoming truck?

What I Thought:

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

18 Replies to “Tiger’s Driving Lesson”

  1. Hi, Bernita!

    In California a teen can’t get a provisional permit unless they’ve completed 30 hours in a driver’s education course. Then they must spend the first 2 of 6 hours in a behind-the-wheel training course with a driving school (over $200 in our area) before their provisional license become valid.

    The provisional license requires 50 hours of supervised driving before the teen may drive alone. Those 50 hours are usually supervised by parents, as you can imagine what 50 hours of professional driver’s training would cost!

  2. man – that is a dad job in our house – if it comes down to me – they’re walking! (no patience here – surprise, surpirse)

  3. Oh yeah, Dad job. I’d be clenching my jaw so hard to crack the molars.

    You’re a brave woman, Bonnie. Braver than widdle old me.

    Love the thoughts. LOL

  4. Dennie and Kait, Hubby handled the first 2 lessons. When he got out of the car he fell to the asphalt and kissed it lovingly. Now he says it’s my turn.

  5. Alternately…

    Let me get my heart out of my mouth.

    Okay, that clinches it. If I have offspring, I’m shipping ’em off to military school when they hit driving age.

  6. If I had to handle the ‘talk’, he can handle the driving duties.

    I draw the line at this part of parenting.

    Of course, if he insists, I’ll just whisper street racing and see him offer to teach.

    LOL.

  7. I can SO identify with this. My son is now 36, but you have just succeeded in bringing back twenty year old memories that I had consigned to the outer regions of my brain…contingent to me maintaining my fragile sanity!

  8. OMG, i am so glad things have settled down here and i can get back to reading blogs. I loved this post espcecially…my god i near peeed myself!
    Having fun catching up on all your news :o)

  9. Bonnie C., I just can NOT believe you are the mother of a 36-year-old.

    Michelle, I am so glad you are safe.

    Everybody, Michelle and her daughter just went through Australia’s Category 5 Cyclone Larry… an incredible story (three links) with pictures!

    Bernita, great minds think alike. I am actively recruiting! Only one response so far—something about flying pigs—but I’m not giving up yet.

  10. I want to die like my Grandfather, peacefully in his sleep…

    …not like his passengers, screaming in terror!

    In the UK the Highway Code (http://www.highwaycode.gov.uk/) uses MSM instead of SMOG – Mirrors, Signal, Manoeuvre. I learnt to drive in central London in the rush hour (bit of a misnomer, it doesn’t *rush* anywhere). I remember vividly my instructor saying “Drive at him, he’ll move. Drive at him!”. In London you need to be *ahem* assertive to get anywhere so it is more a case of MSCW: Mirrors, Signal, Carve-em-up, Wave cheerily thank you.

    Toodle-pip!

  11. Just wait, Bonnie! About a month after he gets his license, he’ll think he can drive better than you. And he’ll tell you how. Often. Generally when you’re driving 75 mph on unfamiliar freeways.

    God help us all!

  12. Elizabeth, he’s already started this behavior. Does this mean it’s going to get worse?

    Hi, Candace, thanks for dropping by!

  13. Oh, geez…I’ve got so much to look forward to…NOT! My oldest boy is 15 this summer. GULP. Maybe I’ll lie to him and tell him that the gov’t changed the laws such that he can’t get his permit until he’s 21!

    Nah, won’t work.

  14. Oh my, Bonnie, dear, dear Bonnie…oh yes, it’s about to get soooo much worse! I suggest buying a set of blindfolds (the really dark kind people wear on cross-continental plane trips) and a pair of earplugs (so you can block out the sound of screeching car tires and honking horns), and just letting him drive. It’s that or you will be driving with the world’s most exasperatiing back seat driver!!

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