We’re on our way home from school, “we” being me, Squirt, and his bud Eddy.
SQUIRT: (pressing his face against the car window) Is anybody there right now?
EDDY: No… Oh, wait! Aw. False alarm.
SQUIRT: (disappointed) Aw.
You might think they’re hoping to see a friend, or a cute girl, or a burglary in progress, or maybe even a clown who just happens to be juggling swords of flame while balancing on a unicycle as we drive by.
Nope. You’d be wrong.
What these two fine examples of American youth are hoping to witness is… another act of public urination.
About a month ago they saw one guy relieving himself on the sidewalk, and the hilarity of it carried them through a whole week of carpooling.
Now they examine the same spot every day as we drive by, searching for The Peeing Man (or a reasonable facsimile thereof). Failing to catch anyone else in the act, they are stuck with reminiscing.
SQUIRT: That was the funniest thing. Ever. Ha, ha, ha! I was just looking out the window…
EDDY: Oh, my god, I laughed so hard! Ha, ha, ha! Me, too! Looking out the window!
SQUIRT: I thought he was just standing there, waiting for a bus or something… and then… HA, HA, HA!
EDDY: We see the stream! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!
Maybe I’d be laughing, too, if I’d seen it for myself. But somehow I doubt it.