Super Sabado: Bagels and other tweakings

I’ve been working on a swim team fundraiser—actually, TWO fundraisers—and a few other projects, too, but Teri asked about the fundraiser, so here are the details:

  1. Fundraiser No. 1, in which I helped with the website publicity (because most of the board has finally realized I am useless at fundraising) and
  2. Fundraiser No. 2, in which I was supposed to solicit a donation of five dozen bagels (because a few holdouts in the board are not quite convinced).

Now, the website thing… I was all over that. I LOVE working on websites. I may not be the fastest webmaster, I may not know what I’m doing, but hey, I sure do enjoy it. I tweaked those website pixels and ems to within microseconds of their little half lives, and boy, did I have fun doing it, too.

But the bagels… ye gad. Why is it so hard to ask someone for a donation? Why? Why? Why?

It should be straightforward and painless:

BONNIE: I would love to see your lovely bagels represented at our fundraiser. May I put you down for five dozen? Thank you! I knew we could count on you to support our team!

Instead, it’s always so horribly twisted and agonizing:

BONNIE: Hello, what? You can’t hear me? Speak up? HELLO? YES—DO YOU WANT ME TO SWITCH PHONES? NO? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? YES? OH, WELL I WAS JUST HOPING YOU WOULD GIVE OUR SWIM TEAM A DONATION OF FIVE DOZ— HELLO HELLO? HELLO? DAMMIT!

So after much serious thought, a few rejections, and lots of procrastination, I went to Costco and bought five dozen bagels.

SWIM TEAM BOARD MEMBER: Why thank you! I knew we could count on you to support our team!

Today’s Super Sabado is a bit rushed, as I am desperate to get back to tweaking those little pixels. And oh! I do so love how they squeak when I tweak them!


I know what you’re thinking. That’s a poor excuse for a pumpkin. It’ll look much better at night with a candle in it. Besides, it’s the candy that counts.

Steve G. of Writing and Having Fun, who has stumbled onto the true meaning of Halloween.


“Lego lost Skeletor back in the Spring. They had to sedate him for 2 days.”

I do remember that. Lego was inconsolable until a relative showed up with a sack full of new toys. Lego played with that sack for weeks. Not the toys, just the sack.

Murray, on how a little Introspectification in the back yard might turn into a full-scale excavation.


I have friends that taught me how to be more sensitive, so with another friend I knew how to reach out. I had another friend teach me what it meant to be hospitable, so when one friend was in need I could help take care of her needs. I had a friend challenge what was said in the bible, and it made me study more and learn more and grow closer to God.

Laurel Wreath, with a little introspection of her own.


I wonder is it just here in Oklahoma or are all these campaigns across America getting really ugly this year? It has been nothing but mud slinging for weeks now. I’m so sick of it I could scream. They are all after each other and are going for the jugular. I don’t know what any of them stand for. They aren’t telling us what they plan to do for us, they are just trashing each other.

The astute Secret Squirrel, telling it just like it is.


This coming election, the smart money is that the Democratic party is going to rest control from the Republican party in at least one house of Congress, and possibly both.

My question is: Will this really make a difference in the effort to make our country a better place to live? Or will the flavor of the rhetoric and the style of do-nothing simply change?

And here we have the astute Jamie of Lunacy for Beginners, asking a question we all need to ask, no matter what our party.


Another thing that gripes me though in all these neat recipies I find, there’s always something out of the ordinary that I have to put on my shopping list. Which I make in my head usually, and that’s getting faultier, and I end up forgetting the special item I wanted to get. Don’t distract meoooh, look, something shiny! POOF! My mind goes elsewhere, like to the magazine rack, beauty products, whatever. Raw washed sugar? Oh, drat! Forgot it. But I did bring home a new shampoo…

April Redmon of Desperate Writer, who has more in common with Vidal Sassoon than Martha Stewart.


Sometimes, it can mean there was a bag from the grocery store that didn’t get emptied, and someone is having a snack.

Or sometimes it means some cat, stoned out of his mind on catnip, has managed to poke his head through the handle of the sack, and is now wandering around the house, moving slowly in order to retain as much dignity as possible while wearing a grocery bag.

Ms. Karen, whose cats are in dire need of an intervention.


Seems the latest snidespit is to charge regular posters on some writers’ chat loops with spamming – should they, in collegial courtesy and honest praise, mention a new release by a fellow writer.
Seems there is always someone with a dirty cloth determined to take the shine off.

The lovely Bernita of An Innocent A-Blog, never a fan of snidespit.


I’m trying to be sedate here–earlier when I was loudly wahooing over at the lounge the Blogger and I.E. bouncers teamed up, grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and threw me out on my ass–clean off the internet via the blue screen of death.

Dink of Ink Blog, who needs to get a little WordPress and a little Firefox—oh, yeah, and a little Mac—and then she can wahoo as loudly as she wants, wherever she wants.


Between IE and Blogger I sometimes wonder how many hours of my life are spent hurling expletives at my monitor. How many hours will I have lost, never to be reclaimed? *sigh*

Bonnie Calhoun, who needs a little Firefox and maybe a little Mac, too.


Standing in broad daylight in the churchyard was a seven-foot tall angel. Only this one wasn’t your typical cherubim dressed in white with a little golden halo. No, this creature was dressed in a black leather kilt-like thingie, had long sooty hair and large wings made with glossy black feathers. He was also shirtless. And from the look of him, the afterlife must be full of Nautilus equipment.

Speaking of wahooing, Jaye of Jaye’s Blahg, almost did a little of it herself, after spotting a sexy supernatural winging it outside a restaurant called Poogan’s Porch in Charleston.


…, I surmised, correctly, that I would have a lot to do there in very little time so I decided to be a vengeful and petty woman; I got last year’s “sent and received” Xmas card list out and anyone who hadn’t been bothered to send me the compliments of the season got scratched off my “to see in Britain” list [as did acquaintances who haven’t tried to stay in touch, at least periodically]. That refined it nicely.

Welshcakes Limoncello, and if you didn’t send her a Christmas card last year, you might want to do it this year, you know? We’re just sayin.’


If we have past lives, are we still related to the people we were related to in our past lives? Seriously, could Mr. Honey’s uncle’s wife’s brother have been my cousin’s father’s postman’s illigitimate daughter? Well, probably not, unless he was a hermaphrodite, but that’s beside the point.

Honey of Meet My Muse, wondering about dreams and cockroaches, and who probably needs to reread Kafka.



1. I like Boxty. A lot.

2. Guiness isn’t for me. Or Murphy’s but a nice Bulmer might claim me. 😉

3. Coffee tastes very horrible now.

4. Tea deficiency is not to be mocked. Horrors.

Kristen of A-Mused Chaos, and just a few of the things she discovered in Ireland.


We were shocked, I was shaking–couldn’t believe what we’d done. Were we drunk? It was so unlike us, I can’t think of something less in character–robbing a bank maybe? The thought of pretending that it hadn’t happened streaked through my mind–could I politely explain to them after the auction that we hadn’t really meant to buy anything?–just before a BSA official attacked us with the paperwork to sign right there at the table so we couldn’t bolt on them. Dang! They’d thought of everything!

Michelle of Scribbit, a founding member of her local chapter of Bidders Anonymous.


Why does it not surprise me that this news is coming out within a week after I just got a new cell phone?? GAAAAH! I may have to take it back and use the boring old phone ’til January….

Smukke of Smukke-Speak, who obviously forgot Bonnie’s Cell Phone Rule: never read technology blogs after signing a new two-year contract.


Cirque de Soleil for two ($100 each ticket!)
– 2 nights of hockey
– Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk unlimited rides (enjoyed this last weekend)
– baseball games
– movies like Man of the Year, Sahara, Fun With Dick and Jane, Cheaper By the Dozen
– Universal Studios
– George Lopez Stand Up Comedy Tour
– the Zoo

Wow! The Rock is the possibly the most successful contest winner ever. Well, okay, so possibly the most successful contest winner ever that we know.


If they ask politely I usually give them a link in the gratis links box. I know the bikini thing was an exception but i gotta say it’s more entertaining than the jokes guy.

Portnoy of Reel Hollywood, on the eternal question: “To link? Or not to link?”


Rampagingly (King Kong style) Dana died a hilarious death. Dana will be missed by a damp sponge nicknamed leaky.

Dana, of Dana’s Tea House. By the way, reports of her death have been greatly exaggerated.


So today I am passing out these bracelets to my students that say “be drug free” and this is the response I get from one of my students:

“I don’t do drugs, Miss! Umm, but my dad does… should I give the bracelet to him?”

Mel of the Smooshie Diaries, and all we can say is, “Aaaack!”


The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause have arrived at my door without warning:

Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and All-Dried-Up. One by one they crept into my own private cottage in the woods and started to take over my life.

Wander of Wander’s World, the proud owner of one crowded cottage. (And if you’re smart, you’ll knock first.)


Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? I hope so, because you all must reeeally love me by now.

Heh! That’s Bayou of A Perfect Anomaly, and we loved her even before she went missing.



Suddenly a spaceship roars past at warp speed.

Oddly enough, it looks slightly as if it being manipulated by a rope or something; it must be my imagination.

Bwa ha! One of Captain Picard‘s first impressions of Stringworld, where the women are lovely, the men all have massive eyebrows, and the entire planet looks suspiciously like the setting of The Thunderbirds. Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. Heh!


my read and critique for the
three-breasted concubine scene
went over really well in class.
i mean, really really well. haha!

Cyn of A little sweet, a little sour, a member of a critique group that must absolutely adore her.


“Let’s do a writing war. Let’s meet and write. This way we would simply have to,” she said.
So we did. We met online, clocked the time, and after an hour we said – how did it go?

Melly of All Kinds of Writing, who is on to something really good!


When it came time for my husband’s knee surgery this year, I tried another approach. I didn’t take care of the details (or “over-think” things) as I normally would. My husband told me not to worry. I remember hearing “No brainer…no second consultation necessary,” and “yada…yada…yada.” My bad.

Teri Gray Franta of Here’s to Happy Women, whose husband should thank his lucky stars he let her handle the prostate surgery!


Writers Addiction is easily diagnosed by the presence of fingers worn to nubs from typing; a chronic dazed-at-the-monitor-stare; pasty skin tanned only by the light from the window, and under-eye bags big enough to pack a wardrobe in. The IV of coffee is a dead give away.

Lesia of Biography of a Southern Writer, who needs a writing war, and the sooner the better!


So I said before that I made two of the kids costumes: Spare wants to be Jack Sparrow made it!

Spare + 1 wanted to be a golfer (dont ask me why) made it!

Supermom! (Actually, it’s just Dennie of Dennie’s Thoughts, but dang! Is she ever handy with a needle and thread!)


And for those of you who’ve stayed until the very end, here is a video I shamelessly stole from M.G. Tarquini, who is quite shameless herself, so I figure we’re even.

After watching it you can come away with one of two conclusions:

1. No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted, OR
2. Hey, this means that even I can be a supermodel! Woot!

14 Replies to “Super Sabado: Bagels and other tweakings”

  1. Bagels? I’d have gotten you bagels.

    Sheesh. I’d have MADE you bagels!

    “You have not because you ask not.”

    (Don’t feel bad, though. I HATE fundraiser, organizer, and/or recruiting. UGH!!!)

  2. “I do so love how they squeak when I tweak them!”

    that’s very halloweeny!

    did i just say weeny? hee!

    i love bagels! and costo has
    a great deal on bagels. =D

    i’m not looking foward to fundraising
    stuff in my parental future.

  3. I’d like to think that I’ve got a supermodel in me. I don’t mind being airpbrushed and distorted – sure is cheaper and less painful than real plastic surgery.

  4. fundraisers make me twitch :-O – I have FOUR kids in the school district and two in Scouts we have one EVERY OTHER MONTH – I have the scout leader trained though – she doesn’t even give them to me any more…… 😉

  5. The best PTA fundraiser ever was at the first open house of the year. They “passed the hat” and used that money for the year. It was usually quite successful, mainly because they promised to not make the kids sell anything if we donated enough.

    Believe me, the thought of NOT having to buy eight tubs of cookie dough, 40 rolls of wrapping paper, or two cases of chocolate bars was incentive enough. We emptied our wallets that night.

  6. So about this supermodel thing – do the same people who rally their school boards to ban Harry Potter, because it’s making their children believe in magic, keep copies of Glamour and People magazine at home? Because that’s just another form of magical fiction, it seems. Argh.

  7. I fell in love with my husband when he started a fundraiser for my niece. She’d spent all but three months of the first two years of her life in the hospital, and after the insurance paid all it would pay, my sister still owed $200,000. The benefit raised $12,000. Not enough to keep my sister from bankruptcy, but enough to win my heart.

  8. Dear Bonnie…I hope you didn’t have to spring for the cream cheese too. What am I saying? Of course you did, as you’re about as good a fundraiser as I am – which means that I would have to throw in the lox too! 😉

    Very funny chica…and thanks for the mention of my little details this week. One of these days bella – The Fish Market in Del Mar.

    Ciao…

  9. Oh, Groovy, you just gave me a flashback to the days when my dad and I would boil bagels! Nowadays our household is mostly wheat-free, so we don’t do any bagel-making at all.

    Cyn, Costco has an EXCELLENT deal on bagels. They are so worth it. They’re kind of bready, though, in comparison to Einstein Bagel Bros., (the Everything Bagel used to be my favorite!)

    I agree, Dana. If they could airbrush me like that for all the candid snapshots, I would be a happy woman.

    Dennie, fundraising with two kids are bad enough—I tremble just thinking of doing it with FOUR kids.

    Ms. Karen, if ONLY the groups our kids are involved with would do the same! I am so tired of See’s Chocolate and that over-priced wrapping paper!

    Laurel Wreath, do you think they could come up with a way to airbrush us before a pool party? Ooh, now that would nice.

    AMEN, HONEY! I think the worst damage to kids’ body images comes from magazines like Seventeen and Cosmopolitan, not to mention TV shows where all the people are either starving or surgically enhanced.

    Pass, the candy bowl, Steve. We’ve got to eat all the Mounds and Almond Joys before the trick-or-treaters come!

    Now, Lesia, that is the kind of fundraiser I can jump into. I would call people until I wore my dialing finger down to a stub. I just can’t get too worked up over this other, non-life-threatening stuff.

    Normally, Teri, I do buy the cream cheese, but they already had it! Heh!

    The Fish Market… yummm. I am all for an order of Duckett’s Buckets. How about you?

    Bonnie, gal, you know I love to tease you!

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