No, my name’s not Mary

My boys like to play little tricks on me with my cell phone. For example, they’ll change the the ring tones without telling me.

CLERK: Who’s next?

BONNIE: (points) That gal, over there.

(A tinny version of “When the Saints Come Marching In” starts to play. It goes on. And on.)

BONNIE: (amused) Excuse me, ma’am, but is that your phone? No? (a little louder) Somebody’s phone! It’s ringing!

(The other customers look at their phones, and then at Bonnie)

BONNIE: Hunh? Oh! (grabs her phone) Heh! Sorry. My boys. Changed the ringer thingy! I keep telling them not to… Ahem.

Their favorite trick, though, is to change their phone number IDs. Right now, when Squirt calls me his caller ID shows up as “Santa Claus.” Tiger, however, prefers an ID with a little more authority.

CHECKOUT CLERK: That’ll be $158.86. On the credit card?

BONNIE: Yes, thank—


BONNIE: Sorry! (fumbles for the phone) Normally I wouldn’t answer in the middle of a transaction, but he never calls me unless it’s something important.

CHECKOUT CLERK: Yes, that’s what I’ve heard.

BONNIE: No, uh, heh! You don’t understand. It’s my son.


BONNIE: (into the phone) You and I are going to have a big talk when I get home, young man!

21 Replies to “No, my name’s not Mary”

  1. LOLOL…

    What wicked senses of humour.

    Like it. Might be something to do to Boy if only he’d leave his phone on.


  2. ROFLOL….ROFLOL….Oh, dear Lord…I almost wet myself…LOL…that’s the best one I’ve heard all week…I love your children…LOL

  3. Well I’m glad SOMEBODY thinks they’re funny.

    Squirt’s old caller ID said “Awesome Incarnate.” For a while they had me identified as “The Mom Bomb.” (Because I tend to go off. Short fuse, and all that…) Squirt’s ID for Hubby is “Baldy.”

  4. Well, now. Aren’t they just clever little devils?
    I believe I just made a grave error by reading this entry to one of my very own offspring, who is, at this exact moment, holding my very own cell phone.
    I fear that tomorrow I will be getting calls from Shaquille O’Neal, an emperor penguin, and the entire Supreme Court.

  5. that is so funny. tc directed me to your site. your boys sound like lots of fun. i need them to teach me how to change my caller id.

  6. TC’s blog pointed me in your direction, and was it worth it! I needed a good laugh! Thanks for brightening my day.

  7. This is the best!! ROFL I love it. I wish I had the knowledge so that I could do this to my husband. Do your sons give lessons? They could make some serious money.

    This is so hilarious!

  8. Heh, Mark! That would be too funny!

    TC! Thank you for the mention in your blog. I think you are the funniest gal.

    Hi, Melissa, JoeDeb and Marsha… thank you so much for coming to visit my blog. Isn’t TC hilarious?

    Melissa, my boys need to teach ME how to change my caller ID. I rule on the computer, but they OWN cell phone technology.

    M.G., I think they need to ask themselves if Jesus would ever mess with his mother’s cell phone. I bet He would’ve shown His mom how to change her caller ID without snickering, too.

    Mimi, God probably gets the mother of all discounts, don’t you think?


  9. OreoSouza, somehow your comment got caught in my spam filter. Sorry! But I put you back where you belong… right here!

    Hmmm. parental torment as a moneymaker… I never thought of it in such a lucrative fashion!

  10. I thought I was the only one! Can I tell you how much better it makes me feel to know other moms are undergoing similar torment? My phone went off the other day in the dr’s office with a loud hip-hip song ring. I was *mortified*. My sons think this is the funniest thing, little snots!

  11. I find this both hilarious….and terrifying; the reason being because I suspect I’ll be dealing with the same issues in another couple of years, being the techno-phobe that I am. Thanks, TC, for the link!

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