WHAT: My pocketbook.
I bought this pocketbook during the first half of the Clinton Administration. Yeah, I know, it looks like it.
As I recall, it took me about an hour to go through all the pocketbooks at Target until I found JUST THE RIGHT ONE: a pocketbook that could hold everything I threw at it, like:
- my checkbook
- a couple of credit cards
- at least a dozen member discount cards
- one pound of change
- one or two Lego pieces
- a button that popped off somebody’s shirt about three years ago
- one key to I know not where
- a wad of Blockbuster coupons in various stages of expiration
- one piano recital flier
- two report cards
- four swim meet entry cards
- at least eight months’ worth of receipts
… among other things.
This pocketbook held it all. Bravely. Nobly. Without complaint.
Until it met the Mojonator.
HOW: I left it on the couch with my keys (duh!) while I put away our groceries. Next thing I know, our van’s alarm is going off! After I raced to the front yard to see who was trying to break into our van, I realized:
- Our van doesn’t have a car alarm.
It does have a “panic” button on the key ring, though, a panic button meant to be pressed only in the event of an extreme emergency—like if I can’t fit into my fat pants.
Somebody else was pressing the panic button!
And guess what I found in somebody’s dog bed?
- One bulldog, chewing on a panic button
- One chewed-up pocketbook
HUBBY’S REACTION: Left it on the floor, hunh?
BONNIE’S REACTION: I don’t want to talk about it.
REPLACEMENT COST: $29.95.