Living with four cavernous maws

If I were to look it up, I feel certain I’d learn that the word teenager originated from an ancient Anglo-Saxon root which means, hide all the good stuff away, or they’ll eat it.

Not only have the four teenagers in my house eaten everything edible in the refrigerator, freezer, and pantry, but at one point they started looking at my furniture in a hungry sort of way. Things were looking grim until Tiger got an idea:

TIGER: Hey! There’s a drug store down the street! They sell all sorts of stuff to eat! We could walk!

SQUIRT: We could buy kites!

COUSINS: Let’s go!

This is the upside of having older kids with disposable incomes: they might occasionally use their own money to feed and/or entertain themselves. The downside is that they don’t want to share the cookies they bought with their own money, which is totally unfair if you ask me.

So I’ve got to go to the store AGAIN. Here’s part of my list:

  • 4 gallons milk
  • 4 dozen eggs
  • 2 bags hash browns
  • 6 lbs tortilla chips
  • 1 dozen cans refried beans
  • 1 dozen cans black beans
  • 3 pounds cheddar cheese, shredded
  • 1 pound cheddar cheese, block
  • 2 loaves bread
  • 3 pounds sour cream
  • 5 pounds ground turkey
  • 3 doz flour tortillas
  • 3 doz corn tortillas

I figure this should get us through the afternoon. No cookies, though, because if you look up the origin of the word parent, you’ll probably find it comes from the ancient Anglo Saxon root which means, never forgets about the time you wouldn’t share those cookies.

10 Replies to “Living with four cavernous maws”

  1. I always thought parent was an old Anglo-Saxon word meaning “Knows how to feed six on one lb. of hamburger…”

  2. Sounds like Boy aka Hoover. If it is hidden, he will locate it, inhale it, and leave the evidence of his passing through.

    Unless it’s squirreled away in my desk. [evil mom laugh]. He knows better to touch the drawer.

    Happy hording the cookies in a safe location.

  3. Ah, four teenagers you say? Ye gads!! Tonight, my teenager devoured an entire bowl of mashed potatoes and a large chicken pot pie…BEFORE dinner which consisted of 1/2 roasted chicken, mixed vegetables, MORE potatoes and,of course, cookies.

    I’m setting up a non-profit and seeking donations for parents of teenagers. Let me know if you want ot apply for a grant!

  4. Elizabeth, we must’ve just missed each other on each other’s blogs! I think these kids are eating even more than usual right now because they’re on Easter Break and have more exposure to the refrigerator than usual.

    BonnieC, the thing is… I’m supposed to be low-carbing! No cookies for me. Of course, there are no carbs in any cookies sneaked out of somebody else’s cooky bag.

    Michelle, you’re on! Bernita, you’re right! Dennie, your grocery budget is probably as busted as mine is right now. And Kait, that Boy is GROWING. I think this gives young males the ability to absorb food directly through the skin.

    Edited to add… And Vanda! How did I miss Vanda? Thanks for dropping by, dear lady.

  5. This bring up my life 10 years ago! What I want to know is “where is my money going now”?

  6. Mary, kids suck money from their parents even after they grow up and move out. They are even capable of doing it long distance with no loss in efficiency.

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