Getting my rear in gear

Thanks to everybody who’s been sending me notes of sympathy and encouragement by email and in the comments. I haven’t commented/posted as frequently as I normally do and I haven’t visited anybody’s blogs, either, and some of you are worried about me.

I’ve not posted for a couple of reasons:

  1. because it’s hard to joke around when you’re down, and
  2. because joking around seemed kind of disrespectful to the memories of my brother-in-law and Rachel (our friend who died of ovarian cancer Sunday).

It sounds foolish now that I actually say these words out loud, so maybe it’s a good thing I finally just sat down and wrote them out.

I know Mark and Rachel wouldn’t want us to stop being who we are just because they’re gone, but still… I felt this way after the World Trade Center attacks—I couldn’t write anything for months. When a young man from our cul-de-sac was killed in 2003, I couldn’t write anything for almost a year.

Back then I hadn’t met all of you though, and suddenly I see what a good thing an online community can be… because you people don’t let anyone just run away and hide.

You email them and tell them you’re thinking about them or you keep posting comments asking how everything is going. Next thing I know I’m remembering how some of you’ve lost loved ones recently, too, or suffered miscarriages, or went through painful divorces or illnesses or whatever… and dang! It’s time to stop feeling sorry for myself!

So thanks, everyone, for keeping me from sliding into a real funk. You’re good people.

18 Replies to “Getting my rear in gear”

  1. No one’s timetable matters but yours, Bonnnie, but I would definitely say Mark and Rachel would be honored by your refusal to retreat into grief.

    Writing is -or can be- therapeutic. I hope that it helps you to heal the pain in your heart, bit by bit.

    Regardless, we’re here for you- strangers though we might be, we care and we empathize deeply with your losses.

  2. Take the time you need, sweet Bonnie, and remember their laughter and smiles.

    It’s been a rough few days for you.

    Whatever I can do for you let me know. I’ll be thinking of you while I’m off to Ireland (and going through withdrawal of Mojo fixes).

    The sock eating god will behave while I’m gone…maybe. 😉

    Take care of yourself. Hug Mojo for me.

  3. Everyone handles things in their own way and time, Bonnie. You don’t have to answer to us. We do like to drop in and check on you, though. You’re thought of more than you know! You take care, chickee!

  4. It’s ok to wait to laugh for a little while after losing people you love. They’ll understand, after all, they felt the same way at some point.

    When the laughter returns, and it will return, it will feel good. Take your time. We’ll all still be here when you’re ready.

  5. It always hurts when you lose close friends, take all the time you need.
    But, remember, there is a bunch of us out here and we like having you around.
    The things you have written show that you are not disrespectful in any way and by writing about it and sharing, it can help you as well.
    Stay well and the smiles will come back.


  6. Sorry to hear about all that’s going on… take the time you need and go through it the way you need to… hugs and prayers.

    And your doggy pics are very humorous… are they really yours? Did you take those photos?

  7. Hi! My friend “if the people we love are stolen from us,the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them.Everything will end,but real love is forever”
    Wish you well

  8. I had a big long comment here that disappeared when I forgot to put in my name and email–must be God’s way of telling me to pipe down. ha.

    I’ll sum it up by saying, you’re getting lots of great advice–you have some terrific commenters (that says something about YOU(.Keep writing and talking about what you’re really feeling–no need to “joke around” or entertain unless that’s what you want to do. I just think withdrawing and going silent usually isn’t a good thing.

    When I lost someone very close to me someone said “how you go on can be a tribute to them” I think that’s true.

    Take Care, Bonnie

  9. Dear Bonnie…feeling sorry for ourselves, however momentary, is a part of the process. You must let it out chica. You must go through the process to heal…and then you can move on with all your cherished memories intact.

    My best to you…and the process. Embrace the memories…embrace yourself as we embrace you.


  10. I’ve been away pretty much all of the last few weeks, for reasons you know, so I haven’t been reading blogs. Please accept my deepest condolences and know I understand.



  11. Bonnie, you could never feel sorry for yourself, you’re too busy caring about others 🙂

    You know we’re all here, we’ll still be here when you feel like writing.

    Thinking of you 🙂

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