Little Lego Jesus says, “Back off, dog!”

When Squirt was three, he ate all the homemade sugar-and-egg-white ornaments on the Christmas tree—or rather, all the ornaments he could reach. The ornaments were older than he was and kind of dusty, but he didn’t care.

Not to be outdone, our standard poodle, Casey Dog, ate all the plastic red apple ornaments he could reach—only he threw them up on the carpet later. I’d say Squirt won that little bout of ornament eating.

Turns out Casey Dog had a thing for little red plastic apples, because the moment he had an opportunity he ate all the little red plastic apples he could reach on my brother-in-law’s Christmas tree. Thank goodness my brother-in-law had wood flooring.

Then there was the year Casey Dog took the baby Jesus out of the manger in our nativity set and ate him, too. He could’ve eaten a camel, or a sheep, or even one of the Wise Men, but no, he had to eat the Main Event.

Picture of the Lego Jesus
Little Lego Jesus, asleep on the hay. Sort of. He’s standing up because he’s got to stay alert and fight off household pets.

I told him, “You may be going to hell because you ate the baby Jesus.” But he didn’t care, just sat there and licked his chops, like he was remembering how extremely tasty Jesus was and how easy He went down.

Now we use a little Lego man for our Jesus in the nativity set. Sure, we laugh about it, mainly because you know, these things happen sometimes.

Besides, Squirt finally came to understand the inherent wrongness in eating old sugar-and-egg-white ornaments, and we’re clean out of little red plastic apples that might tempt our Casey Dog.

Then Squirt said something today that brought my Christmas complacency to a crash:

Squirt: What are we going to do when we finish wrapping our presents?

Bonnie: Put them under the tree, of course.

Squirt: Mom.

Bonnie: Squirt.

Squirt: Mojo, Mom.

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10 Replies to “Little Lego Jesus says, “Back off, dog!””

  1. LOL, I have a headache from giggling at you “baby jesus”…..forgive me god! He’s so adorable.
    I remember my mum sent me out one christmas for a “baby jesus” as a table ornanment. I thought she meant “baby cheeses”……i came back with tiny baby edam cheeses!!!!

  2. Man oh man – I didn’t think about the dog – we have a puppy-ish dog. We got her last February but this will be her first time w/ a tree. She did bark and growl like crazy when we put it up – but she’s not the brightest animal.

    We have yet yo do the orinaments or gifts under – man – I will keep a *close* eye on her!

  3. Perhaps to the canine mind, consumption is a form of adoration. My little dachsund, childhood pet, also worshipped Him via her intestines.

    Oh, and your son isn’t all that sneaky. See I would have seen Mojo’s antics as a means of getting into the presents early. “But Mom, he had already taken all the wrapping off!”

  4. Michelle! Little Lord Cheeses, a whey in a manger! Perfectly gouda table ornaments, in my opinion. I’d edam!

    Dennie, that’s exactly what I said: “Oh, maaaannnn…” Now what are we going to do?

    Pat, what if it really is canine communion? Adoration by consumption… the implications are mind-boggling. Maybe the pooper scooper is the canine equivalent of the collection plate!

  5. Oh, you guys are too much, I’m ROFLOL. I’ve got to link this post.

    Bonnie Wren, ol’ girl, I’m glad that Squirt got the brains in the family…..Mojo, Mom, Mojo…Yikes!

    The Chewinator will be back!

  6. Mojo alert! Worse than having a toddler near the presents…much more drool and more teeth.

    ‘Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy…’Do you see what I see?’…’A lego man standing in the place of our baby Jesus tonight? Of our baby Jesus tonight.’

  7. My white shepherd just got all of our plastic red apples too! We have patches of pink and red all over our floor…her paws are stained too!

  8. a whey in a manger *groan*

    My friend Bob likes cheesy puns such as his list of famous cheese movies including:

    The Gouda, The Bad and the Ugly
    The Return of the Cheddar
    The Edam busters
    Danish Blue
    and my favourite for crossword clue-like elegance
    Brie Encounter

    And of course he loves the Monty Python Cheese Sketch


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